Lily (funyon) wrote,
Lily
funyon

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Letting Go.

So, in all honesty, I've been pretty fucking happy.

I haven't had any hardcore bouts of depression lately, Javier and I haven't argued in forever, like... really argued like we used to when I would storm out and not come home. It's been awesome.

The only thing still bothering me is certain friendships. I feel I put more effort into these friendships than I should. Good friends keep in touch with each other. Not just via social networking sites. Facebook, twitter... they text you or call you up just to see how you're doing. I cried a lot last night cause I can't figure out why a couple of folks, who I thought I was pretty close with, have just stopped giving a shit about our friendship. They give no effort, some of them don't even have the decency to respond to my messages or texts. It's sad and I'm a very sentimental person who doesn't know how to let go of bad friendships. I try and try, and I think it's about time I just give up. I'm tired of trying to figure out why you are the way you are. So, if I stop trying to talk to you, then you know why. You can either get pissed off about this and bash me, or just realize you've hurt someone's feelings over and over and try to fix it, if you care, that is.

Hell, my "internet friends" (Guillermo, Rowan, and Patrick) talk to me more than certain friends that live within the same city as me! It's bullshit. You should always remember that your friends were here first, they were here when you were going through shit, they were there when you were happy, and they'll be there when you need them. But you gotta be there for them, too. It's a 50/50 thing you know.
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